"From Rebellious to Reconciled"

“The God of Heavens Armies” no longer sees me as rebellious, but as reconciled. 

In the Old Testament, the Lord, the God of Heavens Armies, is often seen giving warnings to His people for their continuous rebellion against their creator – the one true God. Even in His harsh warnings to these incredibly sinful people of His, He still speaks of His love for them and His insatiable desire to show mercy toward them if they will return to Him. Though there were some godly men and women along the way, none of whom were perfect by any means, the majority continued in their rebellion against God. So, the God of Heaven’s Armies (one of my favorite names of God), who could wipe us all out in one fatal swoop, saw fit to come down from heaven to us instead. He knew we would continue in our rebellion, in and of ourselves, so He did the perfect living for us and died the death we deserve as a result of our sin. In fact, it PLEASED Him to do so according to Colossians 1:19. The one true God doesn't require us to live in perfect obedience and work our way to Him – Praise God! 

"Are you Satisfied?"

Dear daughters,

Sometimes, no matter how good your life might actually be, or might seem to be to others, you still won't be satisfied. It's no secret that even the most successful people by our world's standards are still not content with their lives. 

I remember when I was young, I couldn't wait to grow up, fall in love, and have a family of my own. Sometimes I can't believe I am now living that reality. I've often struggled with either looking so forward to the future or reminiscing about the past to the point that I've failed to truly live in the present. This is nothing new. It's an age old struggle, this "grass is greener" mentality. Why have people struggled to find happiness and satisfaction for so long? Why, now that I am living my lifelong dream of being a wife and mother, do I find myself on my worst days wishing I could drive to a distant city where no one knows me and have an adventure or two before coming back home? I imagine it's the same reason those people out there who are seemingly living those adventures I often crave, are possibly wishing for the life I now possess.

"It wasn't a burning bush…it was a stupid refrigerator"

We are currently renting a three-level town home. When we sold our Memphis house, we were able to keep our refrigerator since the new owners had their own. That refrigerator was our first purchase as a married couple, so oddly enough, it was kind of sentimental to me. We have it down in the garage and our plan was to use it for food overflow and drinks, but it hasn't worked out quite like we'd hoped.

Somehow, that old refrigerator (as in only 6 years but who's counting) trips the downstairs breaker from time to time turning itself completely off when we least expect it. The first time I discovered this unfortunate situation, I found a giant bag of frozen mixed berries in the freezer completely melted. So much for those smoothies! Just when we think it's safe to store some food in it again, it trips the breaker and totally shuts down. Bottom line is, it's unreliable, it's using up more energy than it's worth, and it's become a nuisance rather than a help. 

In all honesty, after a busy Easter weekend, this morning was the first morning in several days I managed to get up early enough to take in God's Word and sit in His presence. Last night I found myself frustrated, anxious, stressed, and feeling guilty because I knew I had been short-tempered with you girls and easily agitated that day. I was letting my focus shift from what I know to be true, that God will provide for all of our needs and is in total control of our lives, to worrying and showing a complete lack of trust in the God who, even though He doesn't have to, has proven himself faithful time and time again.

"It's More Than a Sandwich"

Dear daughters,

Sometimes, your dad asks me to make a sandwich for him late at night. Is he asking me this in order to treat me like a servant or to "run over me?" I know the answer is no, but often times a simple request for a sandwich can reveal a deeply rooted issue in my own heart. That leads me to tell you a little bit about your great-grandparents. 

"Lessons From a Stranger"

Dear daughters,

Today I learned a lesson from a complete stranger…

As I stood in line to grab my weights and exercise mat for a strength class I attended this morning at our gym, I noticed a woman making her way around the room talking with several others who were attending the class as well. I have seen this woman several times before at the gym. She is always smiling and seems to have a warmth that radiates from her face as she engages those around her in conversation.

Today, she made her way to my spot in the large, open room and said she had seen me coming in earlier and thought she would introduce herself. She probably talked to me for four or five minutes as we waited on the class to start, but in those few minutes, she managed to find out a good bit about me, my life, my family, and even pay me a sweet compliment! She told me about her family, her seven grandchildren, four of whom live close by, and that she had a daughter about my age. From there, the instructor began the class, and we were off to our own parts of the room. As I walked to my car afterward, I saw her helping her daughter, who happened to be in a wheel chair, into the car. She called me by name from across the parking lot saying she wanted to introduce me to her daughter as well. After a quick introduction, we were each on our way to go about the rest of our day.

"Arrows In My Quiver"

Dear daughters,

You will never know how much I have already learned from you. I can't believe I've had the amazing privilege of being a mom for three years now! You are both growing so quickly! Though these last three years have been, arguably, the best of my life, there have been times I have struggled with my role as "mom." It's taught me (similar to the way marriage did) how selfish I can be.  I am consistently learning the art of denying myself in service to others. I know you girls need me now, more than ever, and as the days and years go by, you will seem to need me less and less.

This truth causes several reactions in my heart. I know the less you need me, the more time I will eventually have for "other" things. I also know your growing independence will, hopefully, mean we have done something right in training you up and sending you out. It is my prayer that you girls will grow into strong, godly women who will truly make a difference in this world. There is also a part of my mother's heart that aches at the thought of you no longer "needing" me the way you do now.

From One "PK" to Another

Dear Daughters,

You and I have something unique in common–we are both pastor's kids (PK). Statistics show that 40 percent of PKs go through a period of significant doubt about their faith. Thirty-three percent of them grow up to no longer be involved in church, and 7 percent leave their faith altogether.

As you know, my three siblings and I (your aunts and uncle) are all still actively seeking the Lord and are each involved in our individual churches. People have asked me over the years what it was like growing up in a pastor's home. Depending on the person asking, they might have felt sorry for me thinking I probably grew up in some kind of "holy prison," while others might think I lived a charmed life with no real problems.