Monday, November 10, 2014

Bearing One Another's Burdens


There was a game I used to play as a child. We'd form two opposite groups, both of which held hands in a line. The first team would chant, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send _____ right over!" The person named ran as fast as they could in order to break the "chain" formed by the other team. If they were successful, they could choose an opposing team member to bring back to their own side. If they were unsuccessful, they had to join the other team's side. The group with the most people at the end of the game won.

When a member of the other team ran as fast as they could toward my part of the chain, I began to tighten my grip on my teammates' hands and tell them not to let go. I had a rush of adrenaline in that moment, as if everything depended upon me.

Then there was the feeling I'd get when my name was called. I'd grit my teeth, try to find the weakest link, and run like the wind (or so I thought). I loved the feeling of breaking through and bringing someone back with me to the other side. I had proven stronger than the opposite team. I had broken the chain. I had "rescued" someone from what was sure to be the losing team. It was always a proud moment for me.

Sometimes, I think life is similar to that old game.


I think I've always had a "savior complex." I've always had strong convictions. I tend to be a very black and white kind of person. I've never been afraid to say what needed to be said or do what needed to be done. (That hasn't always necessarily been a good thing…) I'm a fixer. I would love to come up with a three step solution to every problem (of my own or anyone else's!). I'm passionate. Unfortunately, I'm not always super COMpassionate when I need to be. However, I do tend to take ownership in the relationships I form. I want people to be a part of the right team.

If I could, I would line all of the people I love up in a strategic formation, pump them up with the most inspiring words, work together to make sure there are no weak links, and not see any of our teammates fall prey to the other side! Even as a kid when myself or one of my teammates failed to hold the line, causing us to lose a valued member, I took it personally. Likewise, I loved the thrill of knowing we were strong enough to capture an opposing team member and graft them into our human wall. There was power in numbers so it seemed. In fact, the larger our team grew, the less the other team members tried to break our chain. It was as if they knew we'd be the winning team, so they wanted to be a part of it!

As it relates to the Christian life, when one of my sisters or brothers fall, or simply feels weak, I am quick to want to jump to their side, offer an encouraging word, a practical help, a hand to hold…but what if they simply can't get back up? What if they are stuck? What if they aren't ready to move forward as a part of the team? Sometimes, words don't seem to help. Sometimes, a hand offered returns empty. Sometimes, you can't be the savior. In reality, we can never truly be someone's savior. Maybe, the person laying flat in the dirt doesn't need a pep talk. Maybe, like Job, they just need quiet. Maybe they simply need someone to lay in the dirt next to them until they are ready to get back up. What if they are never ready to get back up? Maybe all I can do is "lay and pray." Some situations simply require a kick in the rear or a chance to push restart. But others seem to be much more complicated than that.

It's hard to go about your business when a friend is laying limp in the dirt. What about when I'm the one with my face in the sod? I hope I'm not alone. I hope the human wall doesn't kick me to the curb so they can further fortify their chain. Because sometimes, the chains that seem the strongest are the ones binding us to the earth. What about hands that have been fastened tightly; once freed, will they lift high? Or were they bound for so long that they begin to miss the comfort of the shackles? Is their newfound freedom terrifying? Maybe running through a field of daisies looks more like a swamp full of alligators to the one who was bound.

I'm learning I don't have all of the answers. I don't know all of the steps. I don't have the words. But, I can lay in the grass. I can pray. I can petition the One who broke the strongest chains of all, the only One who truly lives and gives life.
"I am the Living One; I was dead, and now look, I am alive forever and ever! And I hold the keys of death and Hades." Revelation 1:18
 So maybe sometimes I need to weep. I need to feel pain. I need to stay still. Maybe there is a time to "sharpen" (Prov. 27:17) and also a time to "bear."
"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galations 6:2
Maybe there really is power in numbers. Maybe sometimes that power is greatest not when the wall around you stands firm, looking ahead, determined and strong. What if instead, the chain became a barricade around the one who is wounded—if those who stood tall stooped down low as if to become human shields? Maybe then the freedom wouldn't seem so scary. Maybe a swamp full of alligators seems more manageable with others surrounding you. And perhaps patience, kindness, and love is the real three step program in these situations.

"This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters." 1 John 3:16 



2 comments:

  1. you live this out, Lindsey - in big ways and small. I'll always remember how you were there for me during my miscarriage and helped me bear the burden, rather than retreating from me or "singing songs to my heavy heart." love you,friend!

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    1. Lee, that means so much coming from you! I love you and am so thankful for your friendship.

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