Back in Action!

I remember when I first thought about starting this blog and calling it "Dear Daughters." A friend said I might end up having a son eventually so maybe I should think of another name for it, like "Dear Darlings" or something along those lines. The last time I wrote on this blog was a year and a half ago. Charlie graced our family with his presence seven months ago now and life has been even sweeter with him in it. After a long break from this blog, I've decided to pick it back up again. This is a place for me to sort out my thoughts, document my growing family, and record lessons I learn along the way. It is my hope that my children will be able to read these words one day even after I'm gone and come to know their mother and their childhood all over again.

Today I'm trying to remember all of the things I've already forgotten about my children—their intricacies, habits, favorites, first words and so much more. I want to remember the way they are today.

Ivey

My first baby. You are turning five years old in a couple of weeks. You are genuinely thoughtful and have a deep desire to please and to do the right thing. You have strong convictions and ideas about life already. I pray you won't lose that as you grow. You are a good "rememberer" like your Daddy, as you like to put it. And you are. God has given you an incredible mind. I pray you will most of all remember that you are loved, no matter what. You love to create. You are learning to draw girls and princesses. You are always so excited to show off your latest creations! You love to make believe. You've taught Ruthie well and I don't know what she is going to do without you during the day when you go to kindergarten soon. And speaking of kindergarten, just as I was anxious at the thought of you being gone from me so much each day, you brought it back into focus when you reminded me that you'd tell others about Jesus at your new school. I couldn't help but smile as I thought about the strong faith God has already begun in your heart. I pray that it will grow beyond what I can imagine or even ask for you. You love to twirl, sing, dress up, and wear pajamas. You just learned how to make it across the entire set of monkey bars—something you are quite proud of. You love being a big sister and you're pretty great at it. You think Charlie "turned out to be a pretty cute baby," which you verbalize often. ;) You love quality time, physical touch, family activities and trips. You are a good friend and kind to those around you. And you're quick to remind me when I'm not practicing what I preach! You're one of my most valued little refining fires and God has used you so much in my life already to make me a better person. You are a light my sweet girl.

Ruthie

You are three going on 16. You have brought much laughter and indescribable joy to our home. You love BIG. In fact, you do everything BIG. I pray that you will live life to the fullest and chase hard after God and His plans for you. You are a sweet big sister to Charlie. You take your role seriously. You have a servant's heart and love to help me around the house. You remind me of a little mother sometimes. You are determined, smart, witty, and loving. You are a fighter (always have been) and I can see that God has amazing things in store for your life. I pray that you will come to know and love Him with all of your being. You are independent and industrious. You love to play with your big sister and have no trouble keeping up with the big kids. You are full of passion and I ask the Lord often to direct that passion however He sees fit. You are excited to have Mommy, Ruthie, and Charlie adventures when Ivey starts school, however, I know you will miss your sister's presence throughout the day. She is your "best friend." You are completely loved, Ruthie Gail.

Charlie

My boy. Every time I think of you I smile in delight. You are a precious gift. You love your momma and I'm relishing in it while I can! You are rolling, scooting and army crawling all over the place. You are a drooling, food loving, nursing and sleeping champ. You give the best kisses and reserve them only for your mother. You are fascinated by everything your big sisters do and I know you will learn a lot from them in the years to come. I pray that you will be a mighty man of valor, walking blameless before your God during the days ahead. I pray that you will love the Lord with all of your heart, remain pure in a perverse world, and be a man of character and principle with deep convictions and a strong faith. I pray that you will have a respect for women that stems from your relationship with your sisters as you grow into a man. May you be a true man in a world full of boys. And may you never stop loving your Momma. ;)

Behold, children are a gift of the lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." Psalm 127:3-5

Bearing One Another's Burdens

There was a game I used to play as a child. We'd form two opposite groups, both of which held hands in a line. The first team would chant, "Red Rover, Red Rover, send _____ right over!" The person named ran as fast as they could in order to break the "chain" formed by the other team. If they were successful, they could choose an opposing team member to bring back to their own side. If they were unsuccessful, they had to join the other team's side. The group with the most people at the end of the game won.

When a member of the other team ran as fast as they could toward my part of the chain, I began to tighten my grip on my teammates' hands and tell them not to let go. I had a rush of adrenaline in that moment, as if everything depended upon me.

Then there was the feeling I'd get when my name was called. I'd grit my teeth, try to find the weakest link, and run like the wind (or so I thought). I loved the feeling of breaking through and bringing someone back with me to the other side. I had proven stronger than the opposite team. I had broken the chain. I had "rescued" someone from what was sure to be the losing team. It was always a proud moment for me.

Sometimes, I think life is similar to that old game.

No Matter What

Ivey, you and I had this conversation today:

"Mommy, if I hit or push, and get in trouble…you'll forgive me?"

"Of course, baby, I'll always forgive you and love you no matter what." 

"No matter what, mommy." 

"That's right, baby."

"Mommy, I love you…no matter what." 

If I feel that way about you, how much more does the Father feel that way about you? How much more does He feel that way about me?

Dear Daughters, Don't "Follow Your Heart"

photo source

"Follow your heart and your dreams will come true."

"Stop thinking so much and follow your heart."

"Do what you know in your heart is right."

"Follow Your Heart."

What a great thought…what a detrimental way of life.

Now, I know most people's intention behind this statement is to "be true to yourself," "do what you love," "find what makes you happy, and go for it!" The problem? 

"The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

"When a man's folly brings his way to ruin, his heart rages against the Lord." Proverbs 19:3

My heart and your hearts are not trustworthy. The reason many of us feel like we are riding a roller coaster through life with no sense of security or steadiness in view is not because we failed to follow our hearts, but rather, because we choose to trust our foolish, sinful hearts above the thoughts and desires of our Creator. 

Craving "Control" When "Control" Is Not the Answer

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I would argue that one of the number one things people seem to desire in life is "control." 

If you believe the Bible is the Word of God and is all-together true and reliable, like I do, it is not difficult to see where this "control issue" began. When Adam and Eve ate the fruit they were forbidden to eat, there were probably several root issues going on there. Maybe they began to doubt whether or not God was truly good, and whether or not He was holding out on them. They probably wondered what He was keeping from them. They might have felt a sense of power in making their own choice about the fruit…a sense of control. Unfortunately for them, and us, this one decision solidified the great "problem of evil" found in our world and within each of our hearts. We are a rebellious people. We desire control. We would rather die than surrender. 

Awkward Lindsey and What God Has To Say About Insecurity

My best childhood friend (who was also in my wedding and I continue to love dearly!) sent me this picture recently…

Yep…soak it in. It's fifth grade Lindsey in all her glory.

As funny as it is now to look back at old pictures of myself, this little picture brings back many memories. That girl was in a full on AWKWARD stage, that I'm afraid lasted beyond fifth grade. (Truth be told, I'm not sure it really ever ended.) If I had to sum that age up with one word, I have a feeling it would be the same word many would use to describe this phase of their lives: Insecure. 

As women especially, we deal with insecurity from a young age. I'll let you in on a few fifth grade Lindsey insecurities…

"Oh That You May Know Him!"

Dear daughters,

I can't believe how you are growing, learning, and developing each day! I feel so blessed to be your mommy and watch you become the women God created you to be. 

Ivey, you are three years old and so excited about life! You have such a fun personality; you're smart, funny, silly, loving, tender-hearted, strong-willed (like your momma!), and you soak up the world around you like a sponge! You love to learn and talk about new things. I am praying I will be faithful to use these important, early years to pour truth into your heart, and prayerfully, watch the seeds grow into fruit down the road. I pray daily that God would draw you to Himself at an early age, and captivate your heart for His purposes. I know He created you with great purpose and He has given you such a special little personality and spirit I know He intends for great things! I pray you would come to know your true identity as a REAL princess – a daughter of the one true King.